I am, as always, loving you endlessly. 10/30/2014

It was one of those Christmas Seasons a few years ago when the Knight of my life gathered a few of his favorite toys and transported them to the

studio of a very patient photographer. This man I married fifty seven years ago today and blessed my life and the lives of our children and grandchildren so extraordinarily was a weaver of dreams and a maker of magic. He liked keeping the child in us alive and his passion for toy collecting could well have been born that day, as a teenaged boy, he watched one fall day as the old family home went up in flames...claiming many of the cherished and antique belongings as well the toys of three children's childhoods.

Our three children, adding much joy to our pleasure in collecting, inherited our fondness for vintage and antique toys and dolls and now happily share them. Some will be shared in a very special way during this Christmas Season. It is from memories such as this that we draw delight and thanksgiving for our lives together.

Happy Anniversary, my southern gentleman Knight with the happy heart. 

You were a " Man for all Seasons" but you held Christmas always so very close to your heart.
I am, as always, loving you endlessly.

Our family wishes you all the most blessed and merriest of Christmas Seasons. May love be the gift of your lifetime.

August 11, 2014 - Thoughts of Austin from Overlook

August 11, 2014
Thoughts of Austin from Overlook

Well, good morning, Austin Meitz! Right there beside you, Sweetheart, in my dreams...watching you open those blue velvet eyes. The bus will be at  your door soon. The lake outside your window still misty with morning fog....the light of day coming slowly as Mommy opens your
drapes ......ripples on the water of Lake Hartwell... green and clear....the dock quiet...the pontoon motionless....sweet memories of summer 2014.

I see Mommy lie down beside you whispering how much she loves you as she has done every day of your life ....Happy Birthday, Precious Boy... Daddy lifting you with his strong, loving arms to your wheelchair.... Happy Birthday,Big Boy....words and motions divinely portraying their love for you....sacred kisses on a day too extraordinary to comprehend by those of us looking on.

Katie...toothbrush in hand....peering into your room from the bathroom. Hurrying to prepare.. anxious, exciting first day...tenth grade. Austin...first day...graduating class. Last day of public school....over the top spectacular day today, Dear Heart. This day...no ordinary day...No Ordinary boy.

Two Decades
    

This morning, especially so today, we are all feeling the special tugging on our heart strings...two decades ago today you came, seizing our hearts so fully and completely... transforming all who love you for all the days of our lives.

There we were, Aus, your students who have listened and watched as you lovingly mentored us throughout these years. As we waited...and waited for you to be born...you must have realized just how much there was to teach us.... your lesson plans extensive for your special needs class.

The size of the class unlimited....everyone welcome.

That never to be forgotten day in August....so perfect, YOU so beautifully made...ten fingers, ten toes, eyes like a sky of blue velvet....your brand new spirit dancing around us, your music unlike any we had heard before.... enveloping us all. But the lessons were waiting and ready or not...afraid or bewildered...we would attend class.

New School, New Rules

Fast forwarding my thoughts.... you....one hundred forty pounds later....all the splendid sweetness of you...the quiet, magnetic beauty of you....two decades old.

Wait, wait Aus, how can this be?  But it is....it is the Miracle of you. Your shoulders now broad and muscular..... I can see Mommy helping you as your arms stretch and your hands slowly find their direction into your new shirt....the sight of you lifting high with all your strength to help Mommy slip your jeans over your hips.....over the diapers.  Daddy applying drops to those clear pools of blue that are your eyes.... precious and vulnerable...ever to be protected. You lie still.....quietly accepting all the while.

New Day in the Neighborhood

This day YOU, Dear Child of our Hearts ...loving and beloved teacher, first born son to Cheri Knight Meitz and Jeffrey Meitz came to change our world....to alter our attitudes of and about life, bringing us lessons in life and love we might never have known...if not for you.

How little we knew... how  we had simply never realized, never dreamed that day twenty years ago that we were the ones with Special Needs...needs to learn about survival in the face of the unbearable...that even in the midst of lives falling apart at the seams, with dreams so altered as to be unrecognizable, unspeakable... we would find new  and strangely unfamiliar strength, that there would be incredible joy when we saw you smile and mammoth tears when we saw what you must endure to stay with us.... that we would be grateful for a tummy tube to feed you when swallowing was no longer an option and when needing sleep so badly, the sound of your breathing far outweighed that pleasure. Things we needed to learn....but never dreamed were yet to be in our safe little world.

All the while we learned to recognize also that there were many with problems beyond our own...always something for which to be grateful.

Even in the worst of times, the darkest of our hours...sometimes waiting when we feared the very worst....we knew, we saw that other people were suffering as well.

You taught us to recognize the miracle of life itself...especially of healthy children running, playing, speaking. The things we had taken for granted were now fully acknowledged in a world with more questions than answers for us entering this brand new world.

Suddenly we realized that our own special needs brought us to a place where we would learn to live in faith, celebrating the differences that bring us a new awareness of living life more fully and gratefully, taking nothing for granted.Your classes for us as "special needers" were becoming more and more numerous...we did not know our way, but we knew we must follow your lead.

Simple Pleasures

We learned from you that Christmas morning was splendid in your sight simply because we were all together....the sounds of rattling gift paper...enough of a gift it seemed....the glitter of the ribbon, the twinkling of the lights on the tree...your sheer delight in their existence.  In a room filled with our love for you.... your laughter more beautiful to us than the most harmonic melody.  Music itself through your uniquely, finely tuned ears....the rhapsody of life....the sky, the clouds, the trees beyond the windows.....wondrous gifts for your splendid spirit.

Paradise, it seemed, to simply sit beneath a star filled sky ...a magical journey for a child whose ability must allow him universal knowledge available only to a person of your significance on earth.....knowledge that would remain unshared for present time.

Class 101

Watching, listening to your daily teachings we carefully observed our wise counselor.  So many lessons...were our notebooks ready we wondered, large enough for so much  information....did we know the language being spoken...foreign certainly, for we had never heard it spoken before you came....surely your very own. Would we...could we...learn to to speak it as well.

This new school you had formed was constantly offering many advanced degrees...were we up to the challenges of your courses!!! We hoped...we prayed.... All the while you were patient with us...your course in patience ...a must....101 a definite requirement.

Limited Availability

The prognosis that day you were born, according to  all your doctors...(how many caring specialists over the years have there been) was that there would not be much time together....perhaps two years. A very rare syndrome...Sturge Weber, they said..... occurring in only about one in a million births...characterized and manifesting in ways unimaginable for us novices.

Wrong baby, we said, wrong family. wrong face for the markings of this syndrome.....What syndrome we said!  Mistake....BIG mistake....there were no warnings, no bells and alarms....no genetic link...just "something that happens once in a while,"...due, they said, to some traumatic happening in the third trimester of the pregnancy. Impossible....incomprehensible, we said.

Oh, and yes, by the way......you should be near a large medical facility, they said. There would be emergencies requiring immediate care. Yet all the while you must have been thinking..... But you don't know my Mom and Dad, Doctors... Just look how awesome they are.....you don't know how much they're gonna love me right through it all. You'll see....you don't know my Grandmas and Grandpas and aunts and uncles and cousins... you don't know my family and how they're gonna come together and form my army ....how could you know... with all your wisdom... that all together LOVE would be our armor and battles would be fought even when the territories were in a frightening foreign land.

 But YOU, Austin, must have already known that LOVE always wins....there would be no losses with love our perfect weapon. And so it was that you began to teach....to instruct us in new and wondrous ways.

New Games...New Players

Remembering today as you become twenty, that just because you couldn't run....you could still play with the "Angels in the Outfield" softball league....because you had a Daddy and friends who could help you hold the bat,  hit the ball ..... run the bases in your Daddy-activated wheel chair with Mommy screaming, "Go Aus...Go Aus!"

That you could enter the Special Olympics at school with Mommy and your teachers cheering you on. That all of us who supported you were your special cheer leaders... loud, a possibly sometimes even obnoxious over-zealous Team...we, THE Austin Crew.

We didn't watch for you on the football field, or the basketball courts, or in soccer games.  Your "fields" were the places where we knew you would excel and always feel like the winner you were....not in competition but in the sheer joy of  moving, of being, of existing despite all the odds.

We would find you one day at school when we visited...your Mommy and I as we watched through that door.... your walker in motion working toward the computers across the room...totally focused, seeking a way to communicate your thoughts, your knowledge of things not seen, not heard. The wonder of you...of your ever quiet magnificent mind.

Those teachers of yours...ah those spectacular women...who always had your back.. true gifts and givers in our lives...part of that Master Plan Crew on your well planned campus.

Bountiful thanks....endless gratitude for you who tend these angels in our class rooms of life. Bus drivers who became your friends...and our friends...who saw you safely back and forth each day. Yes, bless them, and so many others.

Those special physical and occupational therapists who came to you...remembering each of you in that vast array of supporters and helpers who have assisted through the years.  Those skilled hippotheapists with their gentle equines who carried you on their backs as you experienced the unique feelings that kind of therapy provides....special gratitude for you on your missions to help in the lives of special needs children. Team Austin...you were there!.

The Advanced Student

At the top of the class.....your parents extraordinaire.....your faithful, devoted, Summa Cum Laude Mom and Dad....who seemed to know from the beginning what your classes would require. They moved swiftly in their excellence while we watched as their grades were posted...all A's, honors classes all the way.

There are no descriptions to portray this pair....awesome, dauntless, brave beyond measure, stronger both physically and emotionally than can be portrayed here in mere words .....an unbelievable team in their unified Operation Austin.

Even as we have watched them in awe over the years... we are continually amazed by their enduring and constant devotion to their only son.  Theirs' is a love all humanity should relish, yearn to feel and express.    (In her all along, your Mom....that special gift for caring. Remembering as I write.... that day she breathed life into one of our struggling new born pups oh so long ago. Special needs preparation for a child with Special Needs? In retrospect....surely it was.)

Talents Yet Unleashed

If somehow it were possible that your blue velvet eyes could speak of that hidden brilliance within your brain we would be astounded at those advanced courses you could offer.  It is obvious, Austin, Magnificent Professor, you are there...tucked gently inside a place we cannot yet visit ... where bountiful knowledge of all there is to be known about life and beyond must exist. Perhaps we are not quite ready for what remains unknown in this window of time.We must become wiser....more enlightened, more in tune,you say.

We realize you are that musician in the band in which you've always played...the drummer we think, but no doubt any instrument can yours for the playing. We listen...and loving your music as we do,we know it is written...note by note...and played often in that  place where your magical mind must also reside....perhaps in that parallel universe in which we hear many are made whole and miraculously healed.

Team Players

We dance with you...those of us on Team Austin.  Quite likely at times, you are visited by, surely watched over... .. by those who so loved you and have gone before ...your grandparents, your aunts and uncles and cousins from generations past.  AND perhaps...just maybe...they have joined teams working together to find solutions to the problems occurring to us in human form.  And not that we would ever have wished this to happen to you, Aus....we simply wonder, had it not been for your coming, where could we possibly have learned the lessons you have taught us.....in this institute of higher learning we have attended at your invitation.  YOU, magnificent boy who came to teach us, to share your life....have brought us to this campus where classrooms are filled with miracle stories yet to be understood. Thankfully...we have learned not to be afraid....for you speak the language of LOVE.

Perhaps PHDs

Thank you, our dear and precious Friend, for this chance to attend the University of Austin where the advanced courses you have offered have been well attended and appreciated, your courses hopefully making us better students of life along this wondrous journey........your words heard and stamped in our hearts where we long to "speak it forward" in honor of you and your extraordinary parents.

Their "awesomeness" shines with a unique and beautiful splendor in a world where Special Needs is a  unique class that can only be taught with sheer excellence by someone like you.  Your parents ....superior students...have set the standards for us all.  Perhaps with a little more help from the top, we might all some day receive our own PHDs.

Happy Birthday, Dear Heart. Teach on...we are listening..we are watching the imprints of your footsteps in time on Planet Earth. We hear your words resounding in those quiet places in our hearts where understanding continues to be yearned for and  eagerly sought.  Thank you for your splendid instruction over these two decades. As you continue to be patient with us all we count ourselves so blessed to have been in your company.....in your class room. We have read the writing on your wall and pray to help share your messages of love and light. Happiest Birthday, Child of our hearts.

With the words your Bumba so loved to hear me say:  I love you endlessly. Sweetheart.

We salute Cheri Knight Meitz and Jeffrey Meitz, wise and loving parents....Austin Advocates Worldwide. Your lifetime of selfless devotion and dedication to your cherished son has touched the hearts of so many, many people.  This child, this incredible person who came through your genuine love for each other, is a rare, uniquely beautiful gift to us all who love you so dearly.

Katie Meitz, loving little sister...we are watching as you attend your big brother in those times when Mom and Dad so badly need a break. We pretend sometimes...imagining how protective Austin would be of you...what kind of car he would be driving with you by his side. And we laugh and he smiles...sharing in the fun of the idea.  We know that some day in your future the lessons you have learned from Austin will also help to bring a new awareness to our world...of those with special needs...who cannot speak for themselves, who depend on others to defend them when they are defenseless. You can be the voice of Austin Meitz who will speak on his behalf and you can do it beautifully, Sweetheart. I love you so.... more dearly than you know.

I must pay special homage to a woman who has stood tirelessly by your side as you have journeyed....Florence Hughes Meitz, beloved paternal Grandmother, my Friend....I love you  dearly.... not only because of all the wonderful and sometimes excruciatingly terrifying experiences we have shared... but most especially for the way you have loved and love our Awesome Austin.

And to our special Team Austin...you know who you are...Blessings on you and yours....our journey made possible through the love and support of families united...the Meitz and the Knights...Go Team!!! 

Loving you endlessly! In a world of uncertainty you are our rocks....on a foundation strongly rooted in love. As the story unfolds we pray to remember...Love is all that truly IS. Austin would have it no other way.

A Knight to Remember

With hearts overflowing  in  memory and celebration of you, our Beloved Knight. we begin our day remembering.  Back to that day..... four years and a lifetime ago, you...... happy, incredible YOU... exiting the world as we knew it.  On this day, that year... Easter Sunday....as  it will always be for our family, you brought us to a new realization of life and love. We thought we knew...yet your lessons in love were not done yet....as they will never be.  We watched as the sun rose and felt the sheer holiness of the day. Your  room... filled with friends and family, seemed illuminated in the " light of love." The peace that was yours'...and ours'.... carried us quietly through the hours.... 12:00 noon  ....total peace...... transition  complete. Your legacy....live in love..  God is Good,

 

So it is with thoughts of you, Beloved Knight,  we are totally embraced by memories that would fill a book...a book of love, of course, for it was all you knew.  Born to be happy, we always said, ....so you...so filled with that zest for living life to its' fullest, .it seemed only natural you would choose that moment to remind us always of the eternal life we who believe have been promised...... the perfect time for a Knight to make his grand exit.  Leaving us who loved you so even greater reason to celebrate and share your messages of LOVE.

And so...still and always..we celebrate the day you were born, Our Beloved Knight...and just as you knew how to live life you also knew the perfect moment to return HOME. Of course, you would.  Always assuring us how "everything's gonna be alright."

 

Soon I will be sharing the incredible dream that you brought me the day before our most recent Good Friday. I had waited so long, Dear Heart...but it was so worth the wait.   We are all watching and listening for the signs you continue to bring us that all is well with one Knight in Heaven  as it will be for all of us who still believe.  Thank you, thank you for being a part of our lives.  We carry on....we miss you still....we feel your presence each day of our lives. We hear your words: Celebrate!  Be happy each day of your lives!

Nana - We'll Be Loving You Always.

Twenty Four years ago there was a small Macon publication called "Out of the Sky." Several issues had reached publication and enjoyed by many. It had been founded and published by a young friend of our son Paul's, David Clark....a very talented, versatile writer and musician.

Knowing my Mother and finding it interesting that she was the oldest subscriber to his publication, David asked me to write an article on my her life to be used in his then struggling small publication. Before the last issue came to fruition the paper ran out of funds and was shut down permanently, leaving Mother's article unpublished and unread. I always felt this was such a disappointment to her and while I have shared the original draft with a few friends and relatives I truly regret that she never saw her story in print. She wanted it to be read and perhaps found meaningful in it's message . It would be my wish that somehow she will know that people, here and there, are enjoying her thoughts and remembrances. I have since the time of our first writing, made some additions that Mother had often spoken of to me over the years. I hope she will not disapprove since she so loved telling me these stories. If only I could somehow return to those days when she was physically with us, there are many questions I would ask her, in addition to the information we included here.  We would reminisce for longer periods of time. I would have tried to absorb and record every possible thing she would wish to share. Grateful for the time we had and finding it important to urge everyone we know to keep journals,  of all the people we hold dear, I leave you with this thought. Pricelessly beautiful history often escapes us through the passage of time, slipping through our fingers one story, one day, at a time.

I miss her sorely, as does our family,...as we always will, and I now plan to add her story to our blog on this coming Mother's Day in her honor. It would be my hope that her stories related here, will be received as a personal message from her, as was our purpose in writing her story originally. Claudia Evans Pullen made a difference in our world, she mattered, she created her own life story.

Peace, Joy, Love to all

Remembrances of a Teenage Teacher

I am told that I am the oldest subscriber to OOTS. That is not the only thing that amazes me ...... I do not feel a day over fifty even now. Quite frankly, I don't really know how I got to be almost eighty two years old already. "How time flies when we're having fun," I always say, and somehow this seems to ring more true than ever these days. (Fair warning to my daugher, Paula, and her husband, Howard...time will move faster the older you become.)

The Early Years

Why, it seems only yesterday that I was a seventeen year old girl. Having been born in 1907, I fell quite fortunately into the era of the "roaring twenties," and although the days preceding the great depression brought misfortune to many, these were also years when life was lived by those of us becoming young adults with a kind of fervent zest for life that our predecessors of the staunch Victorian era would've never dreamed possible.
President Calvin Coolidge was in office in my seventeenth year of life. I was living with my parents in a little town known as Soperton, Georgia in the county of Treutlen. This county had been formed in 1918 by taking parcels of land from adjoining Montgomery and Emanuel Counties. My father, the son of Irish immigrants who came directly from the Emerald Isle during the great potato famine, had come to Soperton from nearby Dodge County where he had been born. My father and mother had settled in Treutlen County early in their lives, where they owned and operated Evans General Merchandise Store and half of the drugstore two doors down on the same square. The General Store stocked everything from groceries to shoes, fabric, kerosene, hardware, etc. I remember still my brothers and their cronies playing checkers by the pot-bellied stove near the back of the store on cold wintry days when things were a bit slow.
Some of my fondest, most vivid memories are of the trips we made with my father to Macon to replenish the dry goods store, traveling in our Overland automobile. The now long-gone Dannenburg Wholesale Company on Third Street supplied our needs during those days. Macon was the "Big City" to all of us with a population of about 53,ooo people. Our trips at that time were an all day affair. The red clay hills surrounding the dirt roads that lay between Soperton and Macon left colorful images of that special terrain for me. So different, as those memories now immerge, from the flat plains of southeastern Georgia to the rolling green hills of our middle state. We never traveled further than Macon as there were no paved roads to Atlanta before 1925.

Life in A Small Town

I was the baby girl in a family of eight children.....four girls and four boys. The house in Soperton where I, Claudia Belle Evans, was born still stands right across the train track from the school house where I began school in the first grade. I was told by my sister, Effie, and other older members of the family that I would introduce myself in a way that I could never "live down." To this day, even my younger relatives remind me of my words: "My name is Taudie Belle...and I'm a puddy dirl too." My father, they said, always loved this same introduction by me to whomever I met, at home or at the General Store. As often happens with babies of large families, I was admittedly, a tiny bit spoiled....."the apple of my Papa's eye."
(Later, and I am not quite sure when, my father would build the house, now known as the Evans House, four houses down from the County Court House on the square.) Of course, at that time, people in our small town had not conceived of kindergarten, but I did make it through first and second grades in that first year of school, making my parents and brothers and sisters, very proud. There were only eleven grades of school at that time and by the time I was sixteen I had graduated from high school.

For the Love of Music

These were the days of silent movies. Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford and other famous faces of those "black and white" movie days flickered across the screen of our small community theatre as I filled in the background music on the upright piano. I loved "tickling the ivories," as we called it. As a result of always being a piano player, I never learned to dance but oh how I loved making the music. Not learning to dance was probably worth the sacrifice, I've decided, since music was and is still such an important part of my life. Although I am now slightly crippled in my finger joints, my hands still allow me to play the organ every Sunday at our local Methodist Church where my husband, Paul, and I had been married when I was twenty five years old. I have continued to play the organ and piano for my church for the past fifty years and forever grateful for this opportunity. My older sister, Effie, paid for two years of piano lessons, my only formal training, when I was a teen ager. She was always very proud of me....I had shown great natural talent playing most of the time "by ear." She was the one who encouraged me to learn notes also.

( In remembering my marriage to Paul Pullen to whom I was married 47 years before his death at the age of seventy: My Mother did not attend our wedding and went instead to the woods during that day, bible in hand, to pray. She had come to believe that marriage was not a "good thing," according to her perception of St. Paul's writings in the Corinthians scriptures. My Father also chose not to attend saying that he "had no children to give away." Our wedding was the first one taking place at the newly constructed Methodist Church and I am still told that it was a uniquely beautiful one despite the absence of my parents. The wife of a very prominent business man in Soperton, and personal family friend to Paul and myself, as well as the employer of my husband helped me make all the wedding plans and we were the first, as I understood, to have a bridal chorus during the ceremony. There were no photgraphs, much to the regret of my daughter, Paula, and my grandchildren who often express just how much those pictures would have been treasured.)

As I recall now, those old rag time numbers I so loved to play, "Bye Bye, Blackbird," and "Bye Bye, BLues."...must have been a commentary on the moods of the masses at that time. People during those days sought ways to at least put some of the hardness of the days and nights aside....even as we do today through music in all forms and styles. "Happy Days Are Here Again," later became the song of the day and we thanked God for the words and the music and I was never happier than when I played those songs. Music surely got us through many of those hard times with our sanity and sense of humor still intact.

Growing Up Fast

When it was time for me to become an independent person the positions for female workers

outside the home were quite limited, especially in very small southern towns. I don't remember the exact circumstances that led to my coming to Macon to attend the Georgia - Alabama Business College, but it seems to me that it was a natural choice to have made since I could accomplish this training within a year. And just as importantly, or moreso, I could ride the train to and from Soperton each weekend.
I remember quite well Papa bringing me to Macon to find appropriate living accomodations for "his young lady." We soon found a boarding house owned and operated by the late Mrs. Emmett Barnes. The house was located somewhere on Mulberry Street near the college I was to attend. The highlight of each week came on Friday when I would board the MDS (Macon, Dublin and Savannah) steam locomotive to return home.....the haven which never seemed quite equalled by any other at that time in my life.
As was customary in those days, families were kept close in most instances. Family relationships stressed as probably the most important in one's life. My own father's desire to make this true was perhaps even stronger than many parents. His children must settle somewhere near by, he had said many times. It was understood by us all. So resounding in my mind, even now, are his words to me, "It' s time for you to come back home now, Honey."
So school in Macon was now done,no matter that I had not completed my degree. I was led right back to my parent's house, in the big white house where several of my brothers were still residing helping Papa to run the general store. (As I remember, a partner whose name I do not remember, operated the drug store of which my father owned a portion.)
So it was that at the ripe old age of seventeen I returned to Soperton, not unhappily so, to live beneath the roof of my parent's house. I would live there until my marriage in my twenty fifth year of life.

The Birth of a Teacher

It was at this time in my seventeenth year that I became principal of a two-room school in the rural area of Treutlen County. Papa bought me a beautiful little black Ford roadster with a rumble seat. He wanted me to have good transportation back and forth to Rosemont School which was located nine miles out of town. In my own mental "video" there are pictures of me in that fine little car stopping at intervals to give a lift to some of my own students who needed a ride. Those who got the rumble seat considered themselves lucky kids on warm, sunny days, as we kicked up the dust on those long dirt roads to the school house.
Rainy weather brought us to a much slower ebb in travel, and those who rode in the rumble seat on clear days on those days rode the bus.( I don't know how we worked out the system of who got to ride when and where. But I trust we did it fairly.) One could easily find herself in a ditch off an unnavigable muddy road though I don't remember that ever happening. I had been driving a car from the time I was eleven years old, so this was a very beneficial skill learned early by me.
Life was not easy then for many, and while I felt very fortunate to have been part of a fairly prosperous family, we did not always see the harshness of the times as did so many others. In hindsight, now I do see how very primitive were some of the life conditions in those days. Funds were scarce, especially in rural areas for schooling. Our friend, the pot-bellied stove, furnished heat on those cold wintry days, wood being cut by the large boys in my classes, some of whom were about as old as I was and many were a head or so taller than I (then five feet, two inches tall.) Their size never kept me from disciplining them when I felt they deserved it...and if I felt a paddling was warranted I never hesitated to give those boys a good one. "Keep those boys straight, Miss Claudia," the parents would remind me. There was no doubt I would do just that.
I have recently been reminded by one of "my girls," long ago a mature adult and once my former student, that one particular boy in her sixth grade class required a lot of discipline and each time I paddled him she would cry. She also reminded me that each day at recess I would call all the girls together and counsel them on "female" topics, advising them in ways she still remembers. (Teahcers in those days were in full charge and almost never questioned by parents.) I am always humbled and grateful when reminded of any contribution I have made that had a lasting positive impact.
Another vivid memory, which also left visible signs on my physical body, concerns the shoes I chose to wear to school each day. Those three inch heels always came from my father's store on main street and while quite fashionable, I always wore just whatever size was available when I needed a pair. Today I have the bunions and callouses to prove it.

The Long Road

Over many, many years I obtained my degree in elementary education by attending three month summer terms, some of which were spent at Mercer University in Macon...other very hard-earned credits came through correspondence courses from the University of Georgia and also from Georgia Teachers College in Statesboro, Georgia.(Now Georgia Southern University) I obtained my teaching degree there in 1952 when my own daughter began her freshman year of college on that same campus.

When it came to helping my daughter with her own homework I was so very grateful to her grandfather, Ben Pullen, who lived in our household along with his wife, Lucy, for his help in that area. My exhaustion after days of teaching could sometimes be overwhelming.
My retirement from teaching came thirty-five years after I had begun my career as principal of Rosemont School at age seventeen. This retirement came one year before the historic desegregation of public schools.

Sweet Rewards

On the streets of Soperton I still see my former students, their children, and their grandchildren who are kind enough to tell me that I made a difference in their lives as I contributed to their educations...and in what ways I might have influenced them. It makes me conscious of just what important roles teachers have always played in the lives of those they've instructed. Teachers have the power to destroy the love of learning, to bruise...or to heal the soul of the young...to touch on the future of the world in a way so unique as to be almost sacred. I pray I touched my students in constructive ways, making the future more positive for them and their children...even in some small way. The responsibility of a teacher is no less than an awesome task. I pray the teachers of today sense the "awesomeness" of their calling. I do believe it is a "calling." Now I am aware of the contrasts in time, in teaching, in life itself.

As My World Turned

The changes that have occurred in the eight decades of my life have been profound. From the first manned flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, to Voyagers recent flight to Neptune and beyond, from silent movies to home videos, from groups gathered around around little boxes called radios to groups gathered in front of forty-three inch television screens in one's own home (furnished with pictures bounced from earth to satelite to television screens)...so hard for me to comprehend. From castor oil to antibiotics and exploratory surgery to the now famous Magnetic Resonance imaging, from wood burning cook stoves to microwave cooking...from barefooted boys to guys sporting L. A. Gear...from kerosene lamps to laser. (Oh how I hated cleaning the chimneys of those old lamps!)
What a world...what a time to have lived and to be alive! I feel so lucky to have experienced life in a time such as this and to be alive still. I feel so fortunate to have seen such transitions occur, to have watched in amazement while the world transitioned from horse and buggy to the "jet-set" crowd who think nothing of a weekend trip to the Grand Cayman Islands for a scuba dive.

The Brass Ring

God has been good to me...a long and healthy life...the capacity to love and the gift of being also loved by friends and family...and oh...a paper like "OOTS" in which a still exuberant eighty-two year old can relate some of her experiences and express some of her observances about life without fear of condemnation or reprimand. Thank you, David, for the opportunity to tell my story...such as it is.

By the way, I still walk two miles a day on a course with those younger "fillies." So don't count me out just yet!

I have lived to see my own grandchildren become adults..the three of them independent people contributing their own gifts to the world, making their own impact through their choices in life. I pray for them for while this is a wonderful time to be alive it is also a very frightening time...so many more choices to be made, so many more paths from which to choose for journeying through life. Every day I am reminded that we are all teachers and we are all students. May we teach each other with gentleness and kindness so that learning will bring about a more peacable world.
I have remarked many times of late to my daughter, Paula, that I feel as if I have been on the "Merry-Go-Round of Life" and have truly caught that sought after brass ring. She smiles and tells me my ride is far from over! Whatever...I say....whatever He says. A really nice ride it is! Thank you, Lord, thank you.

　
　
(As related to her daughter, Paula Pullen Knight, in 1989, twenty five years after her retirement from teaching in the Georgia Public School System. The order in which you have read it is as she related to me.)

Claudia Evans Pullen passed away on April 11, 2000 at the age of 91.  

A post note to Nana....words from her favorite song: "I'll Be Loving You Always."  Thank you for the posting, Dear Ones. She loved you all so very much and lives on through you all, our children, her children and grandchildren.

Happy Mother's Day a bit late, Dear Nana. May your message live on in the hearts of those who knew and loved you.

Remembering "Howard the Knight"

Today, "Howard the Knight," we are remembering you again and all the things that you were...and are still to all of us who loved you so. We are realizing that our love for you reaches far beyond what we formerly thought possible. It would truly be less than honorable for us to do other than celebrate your life on this third anniversary of your moving forward. You would have it no other way...probably you would've preferred another party ....people who attended your last celebration commented that there was truly an "afterglow." More than likely your own personal touch.... your armor shining extra bright always for those special occasions. Oh, how you loved a party!

We trust that you are celebrating there in your new world... with your family and friends who are also on that side seeing clearly through the "glass" to which the scriptures refer. Perhaps you are all sitting at a big round table, as a Knight would prefer we think, discussing how to heal many of the hurts humans experience, seeking ways to help us cure cancer and other horrendous diseases and conditions. Wishing us all on this day and those past, and yes, those to come, that we all celebrate the treasure that life on Planet Earth truly is meant to be.

We feel your spirit each day of our lives....there is no denying your beloved presence as you touch us all in ways that seem uniquely, individually needed by each of us in these days when we continue learning to move forward. Our children and grandchildren are comforted by priceless memories of you and yes, dreams of you. I see YOU in them...our wonderful, amazing children (all six of them) and grandchildren, as they continue to project in their daily lives, the influence of a generous, loving father and grandfather. I see your influence in their behavior and character traits. And as sorely as we miss your physical form, we express our gratitude that you were spared more suffering...as many have done and continue to do. We remind ourselves of all the things for which we have to be grateful. We are "rich" in ways beyond description...your leaving us your legacy of love has provided us with new visions and perceptions of life and love. Everything in our world seems clearer, dearer, cherished in brand new ways.

We feel that we truly recognize your unique "signs" to help us feel still connected....your sense of humor seems still very intact.(Remember that day months ago when I asked you for a "sign" that you were "there" as I tried to do the work you and I once did together? I asked that you send a deer to our garden...and a week later you instead sent a wild turkey across the front lawn! We loved it. The children laughed out loud when I told them.....so like you to pull a stunt like that!) You continue to remind us that changing "forms" does not mean losing touch with those we love.

That must've been your special message to a woman missing you beyond belief...that woman so blessed to have spent more than half a century with you by her side,....one more story to share with our beloved children and grandchildren who shared this precious time together. Without a doubt that was you, they said.......that man with that priceless fun- loving spirit so happily shared throughout our time together as a family.

We feel your presence these days in ways that seem always to remind us there truly are no coincidences in life. Many stories have been shared among us concerning the ways we feel you "in spirit" as close as a hand held before our faces (a comforting thought presented to us by a dear friend at that special celebration three years ago). Prior to a visit on that day last fall,(the anniversary of 9-11) to a monthly antiques show you particularly enjoyed in Atlanta, we expressly asked for a significant sign from you. What a perfect day, we felt, for a special message from you. As we entered the first building, we suddenly felt led directly to the booth of a dealer friend where one of us immediately spotted two pins, both bearing Knight and armor symbols, placed side by side on his table of sale items. The dealer remarked he knew little about the pins but felt they were interesting. He had owned the pins for some time and never taken them out of his showcase until moments or so before we reached his booth. One of us purchased a pin right away...soon after I knew I must have the other. The inscriptions on the back of the pieces helped us determine their origin. And as time passed, we realized there was much to learn about those Knights of Pytheus....never having heard of them until that particular day. We learned the Knights were a fraternal order originated by two men who wished to spread peace on earth. Their Mission of Peace as a fraternal organization,(many orders,many temples still existing in multiple locations)clearly represents your life philosophy as clearly as if you were speaking vocally to us. Beyond expressing their deep desire to help bring peace to our world, their selected charity took our breath away.......The American Cancer Society. Yes, you were speaking on 9-ll in a profoundly moving way. Suddenly there in that aisle where we had discovered the Pytheus pins, we discovered we were surrounded by multiple items bearing Knight symbols. Ironically, or perhaps not so, we later (at that same show,) found other similar Pytheous pins and purchased additional pieces, allowing us to share them within our family. We cherish the message you must have wanted us to have at this time in our lives. You who once made a Peace Pole for that very special Mt. DeSales campus here in Macon, continue to remind us that we must all come together in our quest for peace and unity in a world so much in need.

You slayed as many of our dragons as Howard the Knight could possibly have slain in a lifetime...and taught us there are some we must simply learn to live with in our human existences. Thank you for such messages past, present, and those to come. You have inspired and motivated us to carry the banners of Peace on Earth.

Knowing you would wish us once again to thank our precious family and friends, the numerous members of the medical community who guided us all through those three months, the Palliative Care Staff of Medical Center( who made those last hours as special and comfortable as humanly possible).... and all others, even strangers who showered us with kindness and compassion... on this special day we are trying to reach all you dear ones once again. You would say to them that we were... we are, blessed by you all...family, friends, and even strangers who want to know your story also. You, dear Ones who stood by and do still, were truly our "oasis" in a vast unfamiliar desert with pathways forever twisting and turning on a road we never planned to travel. You all who surrounded us, supported us with your love, prayers, cards, calls, visits.. you were the true God-given "gifts" to those of us seeking the strength needed to survive and most of all help us along this path. We are reminded that while this is a very good time to be alive.. it is, as well, a good time to be helped in our transitions from life to the beyond where we must all ultimately go. Surely you, our beloved Knight, continue to remind us that now we too have the opportunity to "pay it forward" in the same spirit so beautifully bestowed by all you caring individuals who helped us journey through this passage.

So today we remember you, Howard, Our Knight,... as a truly authentic man who shared both a magical and also very "real" life with those of us fortunate enough to know you. You didn't need to kiss the Blarney Stone, although you did that day in Ireland not so long ago, for you had always been gallant and charming enough to capture all our hearts. You would today again remind us that you loved God, family, friends, this beautiful country...America, and always LIFE itself. And yes, beyond these great loves we are remembering how you so completely revered FUN itself, travel, fast cars, Harley Motorcycles, jazz, football, gardening, wood working, collecting of the old and unique (especially anything steam powered ....and your deep affection for your beloved Overlook home.) The " magic" people express they experience in our garden remains your gift to everyone who visits here, or simply remembers the sight of it.(We were so very right when we said that neither of us could do all this alone...everything, everyone misses your touch.) You were truly "The Knight Who Loved Overlook" here in your own little castle, as you called this house....and truly you are so much here in every tree and shrub and stone. Both of us always recognized that everything...every material or organic thing, is simply "passing through our hands,".... ours' to enjoy for the time allowed us.

We know that if you had chosen an epitaph for your tombstone, you would have had it say: Born to Be Happy.

Don't you worry, You dear,dear Knight of a Man... for we are all remembering your contagious, delightful character trait of " living, loving and laughing" (did you create that motto?) and honor it still as we live each day. "Ride On," to quote the bike riders,.... we can hear you saying to us all. Your "being" has helped us all to treasure each other even more fully than we might ever have imagined. Peace, Love, Joy to all, we hear you whispering to us. Pass it on.

A good friend and great photographer called to see if she could use Mom's (Paula's) back yard for a photo shoot last Saturday. The rain moved in and gave Jenny some great ideas. Howard would be very proud!

http://www.jennyevelynphoto.com/blog/?p=4312 - Original Post on Jenny's site.

Cindy & Matt’s First Look
April 25th, 2010

Yesterday I got to photograph Cindy and Matt’s wedding! It rained most of the day, but during a break in the weather we did Cindy and Matt’s first look in the “Romantic Garden” owned by Mrs. Paula Knight. She and her husband built the garden with their love and graciously let us use it for couple to see each other for the first time on their wedding day! Mrs. Paula also lent the couple a Venetian umbrella that was the perfect shade of purple and Cindy’s wedding color. Here are just a few of my favs from the garden!

A Letter From Maggie

Howard and Peace - From A Friend

This was sent to us by email by a friend

Hello Paula, I stopped by Mount de Sales this morning on my way to work to see the Peace Pole that Howard created and gave to the school. What a wonderfully crafted monument to peace!

It was about 6:20 or so, and in the cool morning air, in those few moments left before daylight takes over from night, I climbed the hill and took some time to reflect on what his creation means. Peace is in short supply in this world. Yes, a lot of us are fortunate to have peace in our lives to varying degrees. But to think of those who don't should give those of us who do pause to consider what having peace in our lives on a daily basis means for us. Quite introspective, don't you think?!?

One thing that always amazed me about Howard was the casual elegance he always seemed to have; the easy-going way about himself that shone through in everything he did, even in the busiest times that I was privileged to be near him. I fondly remember him coming over to the Carlton Way house to hang that art deco light fixture you so graciously relinquished from your home so that we could add it to ours. It hangs in our dining room today. We needed a few parts to be able to hang and wire it properly, and Howard and I made a quick trip to the hardware store to get them.

Off we went, Howard driving, and sparing no time in getting us there! I remember him saying he had some other things to do that day, and I was grateful for the assistance he provided in hanging the fixture so I was cognizant of his time, not wanting to take any more than was necessary so he could get about the rest of his day. Even then, he was meticulous in taking care
of the smallest of details to make sure we had everything we needed to do the job. That was my first time being around Howard when it was just him and I, and recall enjoying the time I spent with him, the conversations we had along the way, and learning from him as we hung the light. To be like Howard means you have peace in your life. I hope we all can be as fortunate.

Paul Midkiff's invitation to stop by and see the peace pole is one I'm glad I accepted and I hope everyone who was at Howard's memorial takes time to do the same. I will always think of Howard when I think of peace.

Peace be with you!

Love and Prayers,

Joe

Bumba's Song

bumbas song...
bumbaaa yeah - bumbaaa your eyes like the stars at night your smile like an upside down rainbow yeah, rainbow with your pretty wife honey you'r the luckiest man in the world. you are like the fairies above lifting you up from the ground . they sprinkle the dust all over your head which makes you special and unique. bumbaaa yeah bumbaaa you are the luckiest man in the worldddddd. you make me smile just thinking of you. when the days go byyyyyyy I like the way that you don't care because you have us. bumbaaa yeah bumbaaaaaaaaaaaaa we love you.

By katie Meitz

dear bumba,
we will always remember you by a strong tough hardworking man and no matter what, we will never forget you. You were a kind lovin man. You were like the flowers that bloom, the horses when they win a contest but most of all i think you were a cat because when i saw you smile i thought i could hear you puurr and how you loved us all and lastly how you would snuggle up with the luckiest woman in the world yours and always will be honey but probably most of you know her as Paula. I love you and I will always remember you. ps if resurrect I'm positive you and honey will meet again as.....CATS Read by Katie at Howard's Celebration

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy, Did I ever tell you enough how thankful I am that you and Momma chose me to be your daughter out of pure unconditional love, the luckiest little girl in the world
Dear Daddy, Did I ever tell you the times you were working so hard to give us everything we needed that I missed you
Dear Daddy, The times you spent driving , simply to allow me a mere glimpse of a horse because you knew the love I felt for them, I never forgot.
Dear Daddy, You always said my first words besides Paul was 'I want a horse" and at the age of 3 you and Momma made it a reality which began my life long passion of horses
Dear Daddy, Did I ever say enough the about the impact your love for Momma and hers for you touch every breath I take
Dear Daddy, You and Momma allowed my friends to call you their other parents and friends and that has always made me soooo proud
Dear Daddy, Did I ever tell you that when I hert the two of you, my heart broke and I am sorry
Dear Daddy, Did I ever tell you enough the depths of my appreciation for the gifts you gave me that allowed me to be the person I am today
Dear Daddy, Did I ever tell you I would have traded my life for yours in an instant because the world still needs your love and spirit for life
Dear Daddy, Did I ever say to you that of all the people in the world, you should have never had to suffer one econd
Dear Daddy Did I ever say enough thank you and thank God for having blessed me having you as my father
Dear Daddy, Did I ever say enough, I love you with all my heart
Dear Daddy, I called on you for so many things and now as I call to you in Heaven please continue to give me strenght and your guidence
Dear Daddy, I envy you now because you ar in heaven beside Our Father on streets of goldwith angels singing
Dear Daddy, I will be by your side again God promises and until that glorious day I pray you finally realize the depths of the love, respect and pride I have for you. Worldly words were merely not sufficent
Dear Daddy, Try not to shake up heaven too much as you reunite with your buddies
Dear Daddy, I have also learned that we must live each and everyday with no regrets
Dear Daddy, Did I ever say enough?
Thank youCandi

Howard Knight's published obit. More to come...

Howard Blewster Knight, 76, died at High Noon on Easter Sunday after a valiant battle with cancer. He was born in Eatonton, GA on September 7th, 1932 to the late Rev. Blewster Knight and Sallie Perry Knight. Survivors include beloved wife of over 51 years, Paula Pullen Knight, son, Paul Howard (Delise) Knight, Daughters, Claudia Candice (Jay) Lapointe, Cheri Rebecca (Jeff) Meitz, Grandchildren, Karlene Lapointe, Austin Meitz, Katie Meitz, and great-granddaughter, Ella Grace Lewis. Also, brother, Perry Knight, of Lakeland, Florida and sister, Nelle Howell, of Dublin, Georgia along with nieces, nephews, and extended family.

After growing up in Dublin, Georgia, Howard attended Mercer University, where he received his degree in Chemistry. Following his service in the U.S. Military as an air traffic controller, Howard became plant manager of the Mrs. Filbert’s Foods, The Charles Miller Company (maker of Mary Jane Candies), then owner of Southeastern Silver Company until his retirement.

Join us for a Celebration of Howard’s life to be held in his Gardens of Overlook at the family home, 3855 Overlook Avenue, Macon, Georgia, on Friday April 17th from 5 till 8 pm with an open tribute service at 6pm.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations to The Make-A-Wish Foundation or The Children’s Hospital of Macon.
More life details and stories at our website: www.howardandpaula.com
Hart’s Mortuary is in charge of arrangements.

This is a small obit for the paper. More stories coming soon.

The rebirth of our Knight

Today, Easter Sunday at high noon our Knight found perfect healing.
Peace and Love to all of you who've so faithfully stayed with us through this journey.

More stories of life coming soon.

Update

Just a quick update for everyone. Howard is resting comfortably today after spending Monday at the Medical Center to have 1600 cc's of fluid removed from his chest. The pressure from the fluid made breathing difficult over the weekend. Our next appointment is scheduled for Friday with a new oncologist at the same center we have been going to.
We are putting together a list of questions that Howard will have for him so he can decide which path to take.
We are keeping things pretty quiet around the house and Paula is staying by Howards side.
Please continue to send prayers and good thoughts our way.
Love from all of the Knights

The Crossroads

Dear Friends,
This is a letter to all of you who have so faithfully followed our journey thus far. Still and always we thank you with all our hearts and are forever grateful every day of our lives that you are there. Time has been short for writing of late as each new day seemed to bring challenges and surprises for us.
We will try to describe a bit of where our journey has taken us over the past two weeks. We have long ago begun to feel that we should've had more medical expertise to deal with this particular disease and the treacherous decisions which must be made. After the the fourth chemo treatment things seemed to go steadily downhill until the WBC dropped impressively and the infection developed. (They later referred to the infection as a pneumonia and we were given a very powerful antibiotic which seemed to have many pronounced side effects...everything seeming a "swap-off" though this drug was obviously the right one for the job.)
Following the CT that we had spoken to you about earlier it was revealed yet another pleural effusion which needed prompt attention. We were scheduled immediately after release from the Center to go to Coliseum Northside where large amounts of fluid were withdrawn. The chemotherapy treatment had been cancelled, of course. Following the fluid reduction the breathing difficulties still did not diminish as we had anticipated. While the blood levels showed the results were much more positive, (no longer the low WBC,), the lungs this week showed another large pleural effusion. We soon learned there would there be no chemotherapy ... the doctors and nurses came to us with the very unsettling news that perhaps this combination of chemicals was not working for shrinking of the fluid which continued to accumulate around the lung. We were told in some detail which other chemotherapy treatments could be used and what the percentages of success on lung cancer could be expected.
The doctor ordered immediately another procedure for the removal of the fluid ...this time done at the Georgia Heart Center. This was the priority of the day. We returned home last night relieved by the success of the procedure....but heartbroken as we realized we have truly come to The Crossroads of this journey. Our Knight must soon choose which of the roads he should now take.As we face these decisions and wonder which direction to take we know that we are in the flow of things as they must be meant to be. We consider now what we "should have - could have - would have" done had we known the outcome thus far, as we humans do upon such occasions. We trust that this time will be a time of even greater connection to God's healing powers without the chemical intervention....and we pray that this TIME is a "gift" in its' own special way as we know it to be within our hearts.Howard has been advised to rest for a few days and recover from the latest procedure before returning to the Center to visit our new oncologist. ( Another bitter pill to swallow was learning that our Dr. Linda Hendricks is now on a "Health Break" and has an undetermined date of return to practice. She was actually THE REASON we had chosen this group of oncologists. Learning of her departure caused our Knight and his crew great emotional distress, along with the possibility that there may indeed not be as effective a chemotherapy drug for treatment at this time.)
We pray these days of rest will afford our Knight peace and much needed rest for making his future plan....whether to receive more chemotherapy treatments or to choose to rely solely on God's healing powers. And on this night and all those to come PLEASE continue your vigil to see him "though." Our next scheduled visit with our newly assigned oncologist is on April 10....a date that right now seems such a long way away.
Peace...Love to All

Scan for a MAN

We could feel your prayers and your loving thoughts even as we got up this morning to keep our CT Scan appointment at Coliseum Northside Hospital. We again felt that sense of Peace that comes knowing you are there. Upon arrival at the hospital there was no one in the waiting room, another plus since we are ever mindful of the low WBC at this time lowering resistance to "bugs." An even nicer than normal radiology technician took charge of the Knight in a very caring manner and made him as comfortable as possible throughout the procedure. By nine o'clock Paul had us home again in the comfort of Howard's favorite chair. Howard commented that "the anticipation of this test was nothing compared to trying to drink THAT CONCOCTION before going in for it!" The sense of relief that comes after a dreaded procedure is ever sweet. As we write this update, Howard's skin tone and his overall condition seem much improved. Upon speaking with a nurse at the Center we learned that the WBC should already be increasing, (knowledge little realized by us that we are truly happy to have now learned.) We look forward to positive results from the scan when we meet with our oncologist on this Wednesday.

On the ride home we were aware of the cherry trees, the azaleas and dogwood trees all breaking into bloom....the promise of spring, Mother Nature's time of renewal. As we all move forward in our journeys we once again wish you all Peace and Love.

The Poetic Architect

Through those blue, blue eyes of Tinsley’s he saw life and people in his own unique way. Although he was an architect by profession Howard and I remember him also as a talented poet expressing his feelings more than once in this particular way. On Howard’s seventieth birthday during a celebration in our garden with friends, he made a toast to Howard….a poem which he had written especially for his older friend. The poem, which is attached here, became one of our favorite remembrances and now hangs framed on our wall here on Overlook so that we can read it every day…and now more than ever Howard feels so honored by his words.

For the past two decades Howard and I have felt extraordinarily blessed to have found ourselves in the midst of the most wonderful community of people on the planet here on Overlook Avenue. We have been a close-knit group, not only as neighbors but as true friends. Here we’ve been two doors away from Kate and Tinsley Matthews our beloved, irreplaceable friends. Their beautiful children, Kathleen and Thomas, have been true gifts to us and our family. They sparkle, lighting our garden and playhouse with their magic and laughter,…befriending us and our own grandchildren, Austin and Katie. And now we are watching as they mature, following the examples set by their Dad and Mom….following their Life Design. Tinsley was…and we feel is still….so proud of his family.

Over the years, through many good times and some sad times as happens with life, Kate and Tinsley were always here for us….as they have been for so many others. They laughed with us and cried with us and two months ago when Howard was diagnosed with lung cancer the two of them had come to us, their words resounding in our ears today: “Howard and Paula, we are going to help you through this process.” As so many embrace Kate, Kathleen and Thomas, we hope in some way to be there also for them through this time. It will be our honor and our privilege. We hope this too would be a part of Tinsley’s carefully drawn plan.

Alert for Circle of Love

Tomorrow morning we are scheduled for the follow-up CT scan to determine Howard's progress thus far. We pray continually for positive results from this test as will be a very vitally important factor in the procedures to be performed during the following days. We are scheduled for another chemo treatment this Wednesday. The past week, following the fourth chemotherapy treatment, has been a far tougher recovery than with previous treatments. And during the end of the week tests showed that Howard's WBC had dropped drastically from the previous check. (This happens, they say, often after several treatments have been administered.) He developed a fever which has lasted for about three days now, causing more weakness and fatigue, but we are grateful that he continues to nourish with as much food and liquid as possible during each day and night.
If you are following our journey tonight please continue to pray as Howard moves forward in his quest for healing. We continually thank you for your beautiful cards, calls, and most of all your constant prayers for healing. Your Circle of Love surrounds us still and lifts us every day of our lives.

Don't Let the Sun Go Down

Howard had patted his tummy about a week ago and remarked: "It's all going right here," referring to some newly acquired weight. "That's NOT where I wanted it!" Paula told him she thought it was actually quite beautiful, our children applauded and added that we'd take it anywhere we could get it, pointing out the newly forming but definite small "love handles." When we arrived at the Center for the fourth chemotherapy session he couldn't wait to get to the scales., He'd worn the same amount of clothes and shoes as to the last visit, just to be sure the weight gain would be accurate.

When he stepped on the digital scale, hoping for at least four pounds more, the happy squeals and clapping began. Howard stepped back, took a deep breath, and smiled broadly. Not just the four pounds hoped for, but an additional beautiful new six pounds had been gained. We advised everyone to buy stock in Ensure and Boost which surely had helped in the campaign waged to put on pounds. "Boogity, boogity" as our Cheri can say when the race is on.

From the reading of the scale to the visit with Gretchen (Dr. Hendrick's Assistant) to the results of the blood tests, including white blood count, kidney function, etc. things went the smoothest to date. Another THANK YOU GOD moment. We needed the positive results of this visit more than ever....earlier in the week we had received some of the saddest news we felt we could endure....a valued friend and neighbor had died as the result of a tragic automobile accident.

We realized again in yet another brand new way our vulnerability as human beings to the fragility of life here on Planet Earth. That we must never let the sun go down without expressing our LOVE and APPRECIATION of the irreplaceable people in our lives. And that being 5l years of age as was our friend, is no guarantee that when we leave home in the morning we will be home for dinner. Nor that being 76 and receiving state of the art chemotherapy treatments for lung cancer will bring us extended years. It is the chance we take....a part of the human condition....lessons in learning to LIVE AND LOVE in the moment.

Peace and Love to All

Before our next visit in the next two weeks with Dr. Hendricks herself an additional CT Scan will possibly be scheduled for determining Howard's progress to date.Please, continue, Dear Friends to hold us close in thought and prayer....as do we you. And as the song reminds us, you have truly been "the wind beneath our wings."