August 11, 2014
Thoughts of Austin from Overlook
Well, good morning, Austin Meitz! Right there beside you,
Sweetheart, in my dreams...watching you open those blue velvet eyes. The bus
will be at your door soon. The lake
outside your window still misty with morning fog....the light of day coming
slowly as Mommy opens your drapes ......ripples on the water of Lake Hartwell... green and clear....the dock quiet...the pontoon motionless....sweet memories of summer 2014.
I see Mommy lie down beside you whispering how much she
loves you as she has done every day of your life ....Happy Birthday, Precious
Boy... Daddy lifting you with his strong, loving arms to your wheelchair....
Happy Birthday,Big Boy....words and motions divinely portraying their love for
you....sacred kisses on a day too extraordinary to comprehend by those of us
looking on.
Katie...toothbrush in hand....peering into your room from
the bathroom. Hurrying to prepare.. anxious, exciting first day...tenth grade.
Austin...first day...graduating class. Last day of public school....over the
top spectacular day today, Dear Heart. This day...no ordinary day...No Ordinary
boy.
Two Decades
This morning, especially so today, we are all feeling the
special tugging on our heart strings...two decades ago today you came, seizing
our hearts so fully and completely... transforming all who love you for all the
days of our lives.
There we were, Aus, your students who have listened and
watched as you lovingly mentored us throughout these years. As we waited...and
waited for you to be born...you must have realized just how much there was to
teach us.... your lesson plans extensive for your special needs class.
The size of the class unlimited....everyone welcome.
That never to be forgotten day in August....so perfect, YOU
so beautifully made...ten fingers, ten toes, eyes like a sky of blue
velvet....your brand new spirit dancing around us, your music unlike any we had
heard before.... enveloping us all. But the lessons were waiting and ready or
not...afraid or bewildered...we would attend class.
New
School, New Rules
Fast forwarding my thoughts.... you....one hundred forty
pounds later....all the splendid sweetness of you...the quiet, magnetic beauty
of you....two decades old.
Wait, wait Aus, how can this be? But it is....it is the Miracle of you. Your
shoulders now broad and muscular..... I can see Mommy helping you as your arms
stretch and your hands slowly find their direction into your new shirt....the
sight of you lifting high with all your strength to help Mommy slip your jeans
over your hips.....over the diapers.
Daddy applying drops to those clear pools of blue that are your eyes....
precious and vulnerable...ever to be protected. You lie still.....quietly accepting
all the while.
New Day in
the Neighborhood
This day YOU, Dear Child of our Hearts ...loving and beloved
teacher, first born son to Cheri Knight Meitz and Jeffrey Meitz came to change
our world....to alter our attitudes of and about life, bringing us lessons in
life and love we might never have known...if not for you.
How little we knew... how
we had simply never realized, never dreamed that day twenty years ago
that we were the ones with Special Needs...needs to learn about survival in the
face of the unbearable...that even in the midst of lives falling apart at the
seams, with dreams so altered as to be unrecognizable, unspeakable... we would
find new and strangely unfamiliar
strength, that there would be incredible joy when we saw you smile and mammoth
tears when we saw what you must endure to stay with us.... that we would be
grateful for a tummy tube to feed you when swallowing was no longer an option
and when needing sleep so badly, the sound of your breathing far outweighed
that pleasure. Things we needed to learn....but never dreamed were yet to be in
our safe little world.
All the while we learned to recognize also that there were
many with problems beyond our own...always something for which to be grateful.
Even in the worst of times, the darkest of our
hours...sometimes waiting when we feared the very worst....we knew, we saw that
other people were suffering as well.
You taught us to recognize the miracle of life
itself...especially of healthy children running, playing, speaking. The things
we had taken for granted were now fully acknowledged in a world with more
questions than answers for us entering this brand new world.
Suddenly we realized that our own special needs brought us
to a place where we would learn to live in faith, celebrating the differences
that bring us a new awareness of living life more fully and gratefully, taking
nothing for granted.Your classes for us as "special needers" were
becoming more and more numerous...we did not know our way, but we knew we must
follow your lead.
Simple Pleasures
We learned from you
that Christmas morning was splendid in your sight simply because we were all
together....the sounds of rattling gift paper...enough of a gift it
seemed....the glitter of the ribbon, the twinkling of the lights on the
tree...your sheer delight in their existence.
In a room filled with our love for you.... your laughter more beautiful
to us than the most harmonic melody.
Music itself through your uniquely, finely tuned ears....the rhapsody of
life....the sky, the clouds, the trees beyond the windows.....wondrous gifts
for your splendid spirit.
Paradise, it seemed, to simply sit beneath a star filled sky
...a magical journey for a child whose ability must allow him universal
knowledge available only to a person of your significance on
earth.....knowledge that would remain unshared for present time.
Class 101
Watching, listening to your daily teachings we carefully
observed our wise counselor. So many
lessons...were our notebooks ready we wondered, large enough for so much information....did we know the language being
spoken...foreign certainly, for we had never heard it spoken before you
came....surely your very own. Would we...could we...learn to to speak it as
well.
This new school you had formed was constantly offering many
advanced degrees...were we up to the challenges of your courses!!! We
hoped...we prayed.... All the while you were patient with us...your course in
patience ...a must....101 a definite requirement.
Limited Availability
The prognosis that day you were born, according to all your doctors...(how many caring
specialists over the years have there been) was that there would not be much
time together....perhaps two years. A very rare syndrome...Sturge Weber, they
said..... occurring in only about one in a million births...characterized and
manifesting in ways unimaginable for us novices.
Wrong baby, we said, wrong family. wrong face for the
markings of this syndrome.....What syndrome we said! Mistake....BIG mistake....there were no
warnings, no bells and alarms....no genetic link...just "something that
happens once in a while,"...due, they said, to some traumatic happening in
the third trimester of the pregnancy. Impossible....incomprehensible, we said.
Oh, and yes, by the way......you should be near a large
medical facility, they said. There would be emergencies requiring immediate
care. Yet all the while you must have been thinking..... But you don't know my
Mom and Dad, Doctors... Just look how awesome they are.....you don't know how
much they're gonna love me right through it all. You'll see....you don't know
my Grandmas and Grandpas and aunts and uncles and cousins... you don't know my
family and how they're gonna come together and form my army ....how could you
know... with all your wisdom... that all together LOVE would be our armor and
battles would be fought even when the territories were in a frightening foreign
land.
But YOU, Austin, must
have already known that LOVE always wins....there would be no losses with love
our perfect weapon. And so it was that you began to teach....to instruct us in
new and wondrous ways.
New Games...New Players
Remembering today as you become twenty, that just because
you couldn't run....you could still play with the "Angels in the
Outfield" softball league....because you had a Daddy and friends who could
help you hold the bat, hit the ball
..... run the bases in your Daddy-activated wheel chair with Mommy screaming,
"Go Aus...Go Aus!"
That you could enter the Special Olympics at school with
Mommy and your teachers cheering you on. That all of us who supported you were
your special cheer leaders... loud, a possibly sometimes even obnoxious
over-zealous Team...we, THE Austin Crew.
We didn't watch for you on the football field, or the
basketball courts, or in soccer games.
Your "fields" were the places where we knew you would excel
and always feel like the winner you were....not in competition but in the sheer
joy of moving, of being, of existing
despite all the odds.
We would find you one day at school when we visited...your
Mommy and I as we watched through that door.... your walker in motion working
toward the computers across the room...totally focused, seeking a way to
communicate your thoughts, your knowledge of things not seen, not heard. The
wonder of you...of your ever quiet magnificent mind.
Those teachers of yours...ah those spectacular women...who
always had your back.. true gifts and givers in our lives...part of that Master
Plan Crew on your well planned campus.
Bountiful thanks....endless gratitude for you who tend these
angels in our class rooms of life. Bus drivers who became your friends...and
our friends...who saw you safely back and forth each day. Yes, bless them, and
so many others.
Those special physical and occupational therapists who came
to you...remembering each of you in that vast array of supporters and helpers
who have assisted through the years.
Those skilled hippotheapists with their gentle equines who carried you
on their backs as you experienced the unique feelings that kind of therapy
provides....special gratitude for you on your missions to help in the lives of
special needs children. Team Austin...you were there!.
The
Advanced Student
At the top of the class.....your parents
extraordinaire.....your faithful, devoted, Summa Cum Laude Mom and Dad....who
seemed to know from the beginning what your classes would require. They moved
swiftly in their excellence while we watched as their grades were posted...all
A's, honors classes all the way.
There are no descriptions to portray this pair....awesome,
dauntless, brave beyond measure, stronger both physically and emotionally than
can be portrayed here in mere words .....an unbelievable team in their unified
Operation Austin.
Even as we have watched them in awe over the years... we are
continually amazed by their enduring and constant devotion to their only
son. Theirs' is a love all humanity
should relish, yearn to feel and express.
(In her all along, your Mom....that special gift for caring. Remembering
as I write.... that day she breathed life into one of our struggling new born
pups oh so long ago. Special needs preparation for a child with Special Needs?
In retrospect....surely it was.)
Talents Yet Unleashed
If somehow it were possible that your blue velvet eyes could
speak of that hidden brilliance within your brain we would be astounded at
those advanced courses you could offer.
It is obvious, Austin, Magnificent Professor, you are there...tucked
gently inside a place we cannot yet visit ... where bountiful knowledge of all
there is to be known about life and beyond must exist. Perhaps we are not quite
ready for what remains unknown in this window of time.We must become
wiser....more enlightened, more in tune,you say.
We realize you are that musician in the band in which you've
always played...the drummer we think, but no doubt any instrument can yours for
the playing. We listen...and loving your music as we do,we know it is
written...note by note...and played often in that place where your magical mind must also
reside....perhaps in that parallel universe in which we hear many are made
whole and miraculously healed.
Team Players
We dance with you...those of us on Team Austin. Quite likely at times, you are visited by,
surely watched over... .. by those who so loved you and have gone before
...your grandparents, your aunts and uncles and cousins from generations
past. AND perhaps...just maybe...they
have joined teams working together to find solutions to the problems occurring
to us in human form. And not that we
would ever have wished this to happen to you, Aus....we simply wonder, had it
not been for your coming, where could we possibly have learned the lessons you
have taught us.....in this institute of higher learning we have attended at
your invitation. YOU, magnificent boy
who came to teach us, to share your life....have brought us to this campus
where classrooms are filled with miracle stories yet to be understood.
Thankfully...we have learned not to be afraid....for you speak the language of
LOVE.
Perhaps PHDs
Thank you, our dear and precious Friend, for this chance to
attend the University of Austin where the advanced courses you have offered
have been well attended and appreciated, your courses hopefully making us
better students of life along this wondrous journey........your words heard and
stamped in our hearts where we long to "speak it forward" in honor of
you and your extraordinary parents.
Their "awesomeness" shines with a unique and
beautiful splendor in a world where Special Needs is a unique class that can only be taught with
sheer excellence by someone like you.
Your parents ....superior students...have set the standards for us
all. Perhaps with a little more help from
the top, we might all some day receive our own PHDs.
Happy Birthday, Dear Heart. Teach on...we are listening..we
are watching the imprints of your footsteps in time on Planet Earth. We hear
your words resounding in those quiet places in our hearts where understanding
continues to be yearned for and eagerly
sought. Thank you for your splendid
instruction over these two decades. As you continue to be patient with us all
we count ourselves so blessed to have been in your company.....in your class
room. We have read the writing on your wall and pray to help share your
messages of love and light. Happiest Birthday, Child of our hearts.
With the words your Bumba so loved to hear me say: I love you endlessly. Sweetheart.
We salute Cheri Knight Meitz and Jeffrey Meitz, wise and
loving parents....Austin Advocates Worldwide. Your lifetime of selfless
devotion and dedication to your cherished son has touched the hearts of so
many, many people. This child, this
incredible person who came through your genuine love for each other, is a rare,
uniquely beautiful gift to us all who love you so dearly.
Katie Meitz, loving little sister...we are watching as you
attend your big brother in those times when Mom and Dad so badly need a break. We pretend sometimes...imagining
how protective Austin would be of you...what kind of car he would be driving
with you by his side. And we laugh and he smiles...sharing in the fun of the
idea. We know that some day in your
future the lessons you have learned from Austin will also help to bring a new
awareness to our world...of those with special needs...who cannot speak for
themselves, who depend on others to defend them when they are defenseless. You
can be the voice of Austin Meitz who will speak on his behalf and you can do it
beautifully, Sweetheart. I love you so.... more dearly than you know.
I must pay special homage to a woman who has stood
tirelessly by your side as you have journeyed....Florence Hughes Meitz, beloved
paternal Grandmother, my Friend....I love you
dearly.... not only because of all the wonderful and sometimes
excruciatingly terrifying experiences we have shared... but most especially for
the way you have loved and love our Awesome Austin.
And to our special Team Austin...you know who you
are...Blessings on you and yours....our journey made possible through the love
and support of families united...the Meitz and the Knights...Go Team!!!
Loving
you endlessly! In a world of uncertainty you are our rocks....on a foundation
strongly rooted in love. As the story unfolds we pray to remember...Love is all
that truly IS. Austin would have it no other way.
